You’re just minding your own business, working or hanging out at on loveaholics.com or watching the latest Westworld episode on Netflix, when your own private comedian decides to make an entrance. Always with the best advice and commentary that is definitely going to help you concentrate, or keep your A-game on when chatting up a beautiful somebody.
Just be glad your dick can’t text, because its sense of humor leaves something to be desired.
When you said the chick was a knockout, you weren’t kidding. Really, dude, no – you’re going to get decked if it keeps giving her a formal salute without permission. She isn’t a high ranking officer. This isn’t the military. You’d get a lot more than decked if it was the military.
Maybe the day it gets punched instead of your brain, it’ll listen.
Thanks a lot, bud. Now it’s going to be really simple looking at her profile picture. It was supposed to be sappy, damn it.
Keep it classy, dick. That’s definitely what we all love about you.
Considering the fact that every female character on that show has punched, whipped, beaten, burned, or killed a man before – it’s fair to say even Mr. Grey is getting in over his head.
Let’s get things straight. On a scale of one to ten, which vital organ has left you with a high bar tab and a lot of drunken crying? Who’s made you briefly consider hiring a hitman for the bartender because they know too much? Who’s earned you a solid three holidays of “Why aren’t you with that nice girl?” from your family?
Pretty sure it wasn’t dick.