Do I stare in awe at how detailed this roach cake is...or do I start throwing my shoes at it?
Do I praise all the hard work that went into making this...or do I think about it coming to life and terrorizing my family?
Do I marvel at this pelican's flexibility...or do I politely tell it to knock it off because it's freaking me the fuck out?
Do I ogle the talent it takes to make these nails...or do I give this woman some gloves because I don't want to see that?
Do I clap for the artist who perfectly sculpted the Amazon logo...or do I scroll past it quickly because that raw meat "A" makes my stomach upset?
Do I gaze at this mind-boggling chest ripple...or do I tell this guy to put a shirt back on and stop that for the love of all things muscular?
Do I go to the nearest Foot Locker to buy a pair of these bad boys...or do I set them on fire?
Do I go up to this giant chicken and get my picture with it...or do I drop everything and run away because I don't want that monstrosity anywhere near me?
Do I invite this person to my party so they can do this awesome trick...or do I immediately set up an intervention between them and an arthritis specialist?
Do I praise the ingenuity of this hot dog making...or do I pour a cup of that water for the person who did this so they realize how gross it is?
Do I eat this cake...or do I go find Jeff Corwin to take care of it for me?
Do I keep watching this seriously impressive parkour...or do I cross my feet on my chair and rock back and forth?
Do I go up and tickle this tummy fanny pack...or do I sucker punch it square in the belly button?
Do I compliment how cool this guy's phone case is...or do I ask him if I can make a call and smash the phone on the ground because nobody needs a fake ear?
Do I take a picture of this awesome eggplant for my Instagram...or do I slice it and eat it because it looks creepily like my father and I need it to not?
Do I ask this good boy if he wants a Scooby snack...or do I go up to the owner and tell them they need to look in the mirror and honestly evaluate their life decisions?
Finally, do I give this person a "Best of Photoshop" award...or do I close out of the internet?