“Can’t argue with that.”
“Stumbled upon this legendary park. Much chilling was had.”
We can only imagine.
“This guy gets it.”
“This isn’t exactly what we meant when we told him that he could look up puppy training tips on YouTube.”
My mom told me to “clean the bathroom like the Queen of England is visiting.”
“2nd grade homework: My friend’s (awesome) 6 yr old son is autistic and takes instructions literally.”
“Girlfriend told me to wear a plain tie to dinner tonight.”
“Found some amazing Indian writing.”
“My friend’s daughter taking the instructions literally.”
Or rather ’falling twins’
"My daughter fell asleep in her car seat. I told him to just put her in the bed. He did exactly that."
When you ask for a half pint:
"Mom said the only thing I was allowed to bring to dinner today was rolls."
"I bought my wife a necklace for Christmas. I asked them to wrap it as horribly as possible." As you wish, sir.
"So I ordered a lettuce burger."
"My wife asked me to put dinner in the oven at 120 degrees... It took some doing, but I managed it."
"My doctor told me to eat more greens."
"Mom asked me to put the toilet paper on the shelf."
"I spilled water on my phone and asked my grandfather to put it in rice to dry it out. He thought I meant cook it with rice."
"I ordered some mushrooms at a Chinese hotpot restaurant."
"I told my wife to set a reminder on her phone. We have different ideas of what that means."
"My girlfriend wanted a sponge cake. I’m still not sure what the problem was."
"My mom asked my dad to get an ’unconventional’ tree that she didn’t have to decorate."
"We ordered ’one pepperoni pizza.’ "
"Told the new guy at work we needed a copy of his passport."
"I’m currently a culinary student. I asked a lady friend to peel half the potatoes in the bag."
"This is not exactly what I had in mind when I asked him to give me a hand."
"My brother had to work, so he asked me to save him a little bit of everything."
"We told our 3-year-old that the New Year is special because you get to toast to a new year. She asked, ’Are we gonna make a toast now?!’ "
"Someone thinks they’re funny."