I should have asked for a magic wand.
It’s worth a second thought when someone gives you presents like this.
They congratulate you in a way that terrorizes you.
Honesty is the key to happy relationships.
A mug from my beloved wife
Never leave your office unlocked on your birthday.
“My grandma had me decorate my dad’s birthday cake.”
Some friends can even turn a bachelor party into a funeral.
“After 10 years of marriage the notes are less cute and more to the point.”
“Our roommate left town for a few days... So we prepared a small surprise for him!”
“My boss jokingly claimed to be a Brony so we decided to go all out for his birthday.”
When your mom outdoes you in Halloween costumes:
Happiness — Disappointment — Happiness
“My darling takes care of me!”