If you want a golden retriever, just ask. One day your dream will come true.
“Fell asleep in the car, my husband made all the children scream together and I woke up to this.”
When your significant other asks for comfort food:
He knows exactly what support is.
“My boyfriend created a Zen massage flyer for my business.”
“My husband slid this under our bathroom door.”
“My girlfriend used to have a fly problem. Now it’s fixed.”
How to take care of a girl who has just blacked out:
“My girlfriend wanted something round and shiny this Christmas. She is so lucky to be with me.”
“I asked my husband to prepare a surprising lunch for me. Well, I’m surprised but still hungry.”
When you broke your promise about eating the last donut:
Is this a wedding invitation?
“My husband can be annoying.”
“He told me about a gift he left on the pillow. This is not something I’m supposed to see.”
You want proof, here it is.
“I was feeling so dope with my new sunglasses until my boyfriend said I looked like a blind mouse from Shrek.”
“I thought I looked good that morning. My boyfriend spoiled that feeling.”
“I still believe you are the first in the queue to the pandemonium.”
“My boyfriend is playing an awful game with me.”
There are no impossible wishes (even if it is for 18 karat jewelry) if you are smart enough.
“There were no specific instructions, so I improvised.”
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