“My wife has been waiting for 2 days for me to open the fridge.”
“My husband said he found my name on a Snickers bar.”
“Wife asked me to get her a pillow.”
“My wife thinks I’m stupid too.”
“Husband in pug shirt, pug in husband shirt”
“Husband invites me on a romantic paddle ride...then knocks me over and laughs.”
“I attached my dog to my sleeping wife so I didn’t have to hold him. It’s been 20 minutes and so far this is working out perfectly.”
“My wife believes she is a better driver, I let our dog decide.”
“My wife says I don’t understand breakfast in bed.”
“My wife wanted a run-of-the-mill birthday party. I asked her, ’So just a generic party?’ This is the result.”
“My wife was no help. She sat there eating pizza with her friends in the waiting room.”
“My wife told me to play with our puppy more. I sent her this.”
“Wife didn’t like the way she looked in the family picture, but I told her I could improve it with Photoshop.”
“Superpower: the ability to annoy my wife”
“Egg contest — my husband won. Guess which one was his...”
“She kept getting on and off the scale confused and this went on for 7 minutes.”
“I bumped my head last night. This is how my wife packed my lunch today.”
“My wife asked for a unique gift. I thought nothing could be more awesome than a load of bubble wrap!”
“I hope my husband feels special when he wakes up. All eyes will be on him.”
“Was wondering why my wife was giggling when she asked me to change the air filters....”