The joys of being single
“My friend covered up the tattoo of his ex-wife.”
“I don’t know how much I lost because I broke my scale.”
Sometimes a good sense of self-irony is exactly what you need.
“My mom came into the front room and said, ’I peed on the floor.’ ”
“At least I had a happy childhood without the Internet.”
What dating after 30 is like:
“I’ve been watering this plant for 5 months and I’ve just discovered that it’s plastic.”
“My new T-shir”
A perfect match
Where’s the place for sad people, by the way?
Really, who sees the difference?
“I should probably take a hint and wash my hair.”
“My dad ordered fake teeth online to improve his smile.”
“I’m the beast, of course.”
“This is how I usually spend my vacations.”
“My yearbook quote is the only thing I’m proud of.”
Those little hairs are working really hard.
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