“I nearly collapsed in my own house last night...”
“It’s not enough to just sit here, I need to become the sand myself.”
“My son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house. What type of passive aggressive monster...”
“Who wouldn’t love this? I used to run around the house thinking I was a giant tooth.”
When you don’t like holidays anymore:
One more reason to get suspicious when your toddler becomes quiet for a little while:
This is what happens if you decide to ask your kid to help with the laundry:
Seriously? We doubt it.
When you decide to track how many times your kid asks “why?” during a normal day:
“I came home to this... I turned around and walked the other way.”
When you get distracted for a second:
“We have nothing to eat in the house. Specifically no peach yogurt, only strawberry. Life is over.”
Mommy, we’ve got a small problem.
“8-year-old: Mom, will you put ketchup on my hotdog?
Me: You’re old enough to do it yourself.”
“My son found my morph suit and it’s terrifying.”
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