Back when I was a teenager, we hosted a New Zealander at our house for a couple weeks. Guy gets to our place after the flight, and about 10 minutes later I’m walking around my house to see where he’s at.

The door to his room is partially open, and the dude is laying face down on the bed and HUMPING THE EVERLOVING F#CK out of a pillow. I backed away slowly like Homer when he saw Apu cheating on his wife.

I felt bad for the pillow.