“Last but not least, if you happen to be that absolute knobber who comes to view the car, realises I’m of the female kind and attempts to tell me how the car is broken in anyway shape or form, I promise to waste a minimum of 50 minutes of your time going along with your lies, purely for entertainment, s#$ts and giggles, making you think you’re going to get the car for half the price, followed by mid-conversation, shaking your hand and kindly telling you to p*ss off.”