Playing football in the snow around 16 years old. Girls were playing too. Was about to get tackled by a buddy and tried to juke. My jeans and boxers dropped—— cold penis and frozen sack in the snow.
Stood up and my frozen, shrunken d#$k was getting laughed at by two of the girls in my class.
We were taking our math final in high school so the room was dead quiet. I finished early so I put my head down and went to sleep. Well somehow my body decided to rip the meanest, loudest fart this side of the Mississippi and it f**king reverbed and amplified off of the cheap plastic school chair.
I immediately and oh so quickly sat up, the entire class was looking at me. I farted myself awake. All I could do was turn around to the girl behind me and say “sorry”.
A friend’s old roommate was having sex upstairs while she was downstairs. The guy she was f**king screamed out (why this was a turn on for him, I don’t know), “spell my name!”
I got my period for the first time ever at 10 years old on school camp. No one had ever told me or educated me about it. I was scared and so embarrassed and was using loo roll to try and stop it from leaking everywhere.
After a swim I (obviously) had bled all over my swimming shorts….the teacher came up to me and told me that I need to sort myself out because I was making the other girls uncomfortable.
I am the oldest out of all my siblings and cousins. We were at the cottage swimming and sunbathing on the dock and I was wearing a one piece bathing suit that I thought looked pretty nice on me. I was about 10 or 11. My aunt, who has no filter, stared at my chest and proclaimed to everyone who was present: “Oh look! Jenny’s developing little breast buds.” I wanted to die!
In 5th grade I was moving from Kansas to Alabama and what I thought was my last day of school, I told a girl that she was really hot right before I left, we ended up delaying the move so I had to sit by her for another week after.
Walked into a pole, hard, with all my school near by (it was the end of school). I was by myself and felt awkward already and felt the need to say “sorry” to the pole and then I realised and then proceeded to say “wait you’re a pole”. Just kept my head down and walked swiftly on after that.
I was waiting for a friend to arrive at my home. Said friend was having a severe cold, so when the doorbell rang, I ran to open the door and jokingly pulled my shirt up so it would cover my nose and mouth to prevent infection. I pulled a little too high. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I opened the door to a baffled salesman with my boobs hanging out.
He blushed. I blushed. We stared at each other for a second before I closed the door and hid in the darkest corner of my house.
Running straight into a sliding glass door in front of a party full of chicks.
As a kid, I was left-handed. So I tried to deride this kid who was right-handed by saying, “no one writes with their right hand, you’re so weird.”
Turns out, the whole motherf**king class was right-handed. It was so embarrassing.
I ran cross country in high school. I would lead stretches, meaning that both the boys and girls teams were circled around me. A buddy came up and de-pantsed me and grabbed too many layers. At least the girls team got the rear end and the guys got the front. I don’t think I’ve ever been truly embarrassed since.
In 8th grade I had a teacher Mr.Jean. He was 6’3, had to be over 400 pounds and had a lazy eye. Mr. Jean was known for having bottles and bottles of febreeze in his room. Whenever he would smell a student stinking he would stand up out of his chair, go from isle to isle sniffing kids and spraying a cloud of mist over the kid that thought he smelled foul.
I had forgot to wear deodorant one day and I was lucky enough to be rained in the freshness.
One time in grade school we had to wear Halloween costumes for a school play. I didn’t get the memo that it had to be a scary costume, and I showed up as a hula girl (grass shirt, coconut bra, and a lei. I had a long-sleeved onesie on underneath).
My crush took one look at me, and went “oh my god, EW” and the whole classroom erupted in laughter.
In 4th grade I wrote that I loved my crush in my notebook a few times and my see you next tuesday of a teacher saw that and decided to read it to the class for no reason, just to embarrass me.
I don’t know if it’s like this in other countries but in Norway the buses have two groups of four seats that face each other in addition to regular bus seats. So I was getting on the bus and because I’m in a rush to find a seat before the bus starts to move I head to one of the four seat groups with an old lady sitting across from me (the bus was very full so this was the only seat available)
But before I got the chance to put my belt on, the buss had started to move but came to a sudden stop. I plunged forward and I accidentally face planted into the poor old woman’s sizable bosoms.