Built following CDC guidelines, protect yourself from the coronavirus today. The spandex response will help you never touch your face again while the faux hand shaker will help prevent unnecessary skin contact. Don’t forget to sneeze into our retractable elbow sleeve. Lastly, keep your hands clean in the dual hand-washing stations. Only you can prevent global pandemics, so just DO IT!
Limit yourself to one square of toilet paper per bathroom trip. As the global TP supply declines, our newest appliance will ensure that your rolls will last as long as possible. Simply push the side button to dispense one single square of precious toilet paper when it’s time to clean up. Now don’t forget to divide your 2-ply!
Getting hit in the face with a snowball just officially got insulting! Gone are the days of boring round snowballs with our state-of-the-art Middle Finger snowball maker. Scoop up some fresh powder, clamp down, and toss your aggression at your worst enemy! Now, who the f$&k just threw that snowball?
Live your life with the exciting sensation of snooping at all times. We all love finding out some hot gossip and now you can have that thrilling feeling of snooping around with our new keyhole sunglasses. Make even the most mundane things seem scandalous through this tiny lens. Now did you hear what Becky said about Karen?!
It’s Elon Toast. Strap yourselves in for the most high-tech toaster known to man. Built to compliment your new CyberTruck, this toaster features a tough aluminum shell and heat-resistant panels throughout. If that wasn’t enough, every slice comes out with a freshly burnt photo of Elon Musk himself. Anyone else have the munchies?!
Keep those lips hydrated and the music bumpin’. The newest addition to our AirPod extension collection allows you to always have your lips looking luscious. Keep two fresh rolls of chapstick in ultra-close proximity when you need it most. Now, where did I put my gloss?!
The newest addition to the Gator Collection has arrived. Get ready for your next adventure by strapping on this ultra utility visor. See all your surroundings with our signature holes located across the brim while the chin strap securely holds it in place no matter the conditions. From the Paris runways to the Amazon Rainforest, the Gator Visor is the epitome of fashion meets function!
Sometimes you just don’t want people to recognize your shoes from under the stall. Thankfully, you can now quickly conceal your shoes while you continue to do your business. Effortlessly slide your shoes into each platform and raise the curtain to relieve yourself completely anonymously… in public! Now, can you pass me some toilet paper from underneath the divider?!
Sometimes you just need a helping hand with your chopsticks. With it being next-to-impossible to pick up some foods with your chopsticks, our newest utensils feature perfect little hands to grab every last noodle. Dive into your favorite meal & and never ask for a fork again! Finally, you are allowed to eat with your hands.
Don’t have $15k to drop on three Supreme x Oreo cookies on eBay?! Well, now you can simply make your own at home with this delicious silicone mold set. Effortlessly pour in your favorite cookie batter and flex on all your friends with the hottest (fake) cookies on the block. Take a look into the behind-the-scenes of how one of my inventions comes to life!
Every single tooth in one easy swish. Stop wasting your precious time flossing each individual tooth and finish the deed in a fraction of the time. Our revolutionary dental device will ensure every single tooth gets properly flossed with one chomp. Toss it into your mouth and each strand of floss will find its way.
Be prepared for any possible situation from full pants to booty shorts and everything in between. Our new three-stage zip-off pants will completely transform your wardrobe with endless combinations. Quickly zip off the intended section and be on your way. Maybe one pant leg and one booty short leg—expand the possibilities of what it means to be high fashion. Now, if only I could just show off my knees.
I just turned 30 years old and I don’t want cake… I want some booze. Celebrate your own birthday with this unique candle topper that conveniently fits into your favorite bottle of liquor and make a wish. Things are only going downhill from here, so bottoms up.
I swear to god my nose is getting frostbite! Thankfully, that saying is old news with our new collection of faux fur nose insulators. Slap the spandex band around your head to keep your schnoz warm and toasty through these frigid winter months. *Machine washable for removal of built-up snot.
Craft a delicious meal right from your scorching hot laptop charger. We all know how excruciatingly warm your computer brick can get after a full day of surfing the web. Our debut line of pots and pans allow you to utilize that heat to make your morning scramble, fresh fried rice, or a mid-day snack. Who’s hungry?