“I love you and all, but I love the sneakers too.”
“My professor gave up at trying to get his cat off his work during office hours.”
“Trying to explain to the 70-year-old Swiss man who offered to take our picture that his finger was covering the lens”
When you decide to propose to your girlfriend in a cool way but the guy in the background steals your thunder:
“Tried opening a yogurt. How does this even happen?”
“My note on the cheese fries said: extra cheese on the side.”
This girl probably wanted to please her boyfriend but she didn’t know what she agreed to.
“Brought my puppy to the beach. Took him about 2 minutes to eat enough sand to learn he isn’t supposed to eat sand.”
“Sometimes the cake doesn’t come all the way out of the pan. But it’s still really good!”
“Lesson learned — don’t trust just any tourist to take your photo...”
“1,000 years from now, an archaeologist will open my ’dried’ dishwasher and with little surprise will state, ’Yep, his plastics and silicones are still just a bit wet.’”
“I too tried to grow my own pineapple, but unfortunately, my dad skills aren’t quite strong enough yet.”
“Not my finest moment...”
The moment my mom realized what she was in for:
“Just realized my soap wasn’t working because it’s literally a block of cheese.”
