The year was 2006. I was a young dumb girl that had gone and gotten myself married to someone completely wrong for me. He refused to work, and as a result of financial difficulties of us both being in school and only me working, we found us living with his mom. Let me tell you, that is every newlywed’s DREAM.
Over the course of us living with her, any time I would buy myself a food treat, MIL would eat it. Didn’t matter what it was or where I hid it, she was a bloodhound for sniffing out things that I bought just for me.
The final straw was one night we had gone out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had taken my slice to go and put it in the fridge. I was gonna have it after work the next day. Next day at work is absolute s@#t and THE ONLY thing getting me through my shift is the slice of cheesecake I know is in my fridge.
I go home and pop the lid off the container and it doesn’t look right. There are motherf@#king fork marks all around the outside perimeter of my cheesecake, like she could just sneak some off all around and I wouldn’t notice. I was pissed. I went and handed it to her and told her she may as well eat the rest of it.
Fast forward a few days and I am at the pet store picking up some dog food. I’m standing in line waiting to check out and they have these little boxes of dog treats that look like the little red boxes of animal crackers you can buy for little kids. Now, it very clearly says on the front “Circus Animals For Dogs”.
About this time I’ve got the little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear “do it”. And then the angel pops onto my other shoulder and screams “F@#KING DO IT!!!” So they magically end up with the stuff I am buying. I drive home and leave everything in a bag all together on the kitchen counter.
Several hours later she comes into our room and says “I think there was something wrong with those animal crackers. They were the most awful ones I’ve ever eaten. I had to eat a whole thing of frosting with them just to finish them.”
All I said was,”huh.” And shrugged my shoulders.
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