"The impact from the car forced my face down, back underwater, and the car rolled forward. The bumper ground my face into the pavement, and eventually, the car stopped – my torso was preventing it from making any more progress. I was pinned, without air, under two tons of ’79 Buick Regal. Headlines flashed before my eyes. “Local man drives over his own head; drowns in shame.”

I wrenched my head free of the bumper, scraping the skin off my chin, the tip of my nose, and cutting the back of my neck on the metal edge of the bumper. The car rolled forward, as I scrambled away from it, and it ran over my left hand. No broken bones, but it bruised the whole hand really nicely. I managed to scramble after the rolling Buick, pull myself in the open door, and stop the car. I walked into work, soaking wet, bleeding freely, and shivering like I had a steady low-key seizure, and politely requested the day off."

-RightReverendJA