“After a messy breakup I reconnect with my ex. She tells me how she got pregnant by the guy she cheated with and they broke up because he wanted an abortion. Then she tells me that the last 2 months we dated she stopped taking the pill.”
-baconwrappedarm
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1.
Biddy 4 year s ago
Did somebody dodge a bullet lately?
2
2.
Bob 4 year s ago
Dodged a lump of stone that fell off a tall building In Paris and just scraped my jacket enough to leave mark.
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3.
Rella 4 year s ago
Was talking in front of class in college and the giant rolled-up projector screen suddenly detached and swung down directly at me. I took one step back and it just barely scraped my nose.
Also saw a dude flying down the road towards a red light he clearly didn’t see. When my light turned green I waited, even though I was being honked at, and the guy flew through the red. Would have obliterated me.
Also avoided being attacked in the bushes outside my apt by awkwardly pointing to the security cameras. Same guy was arrested for attacking a woman across the street the very next day.
And... avoided being attacked by another psycho because my dog (a mini bull terrier) jumped on him and bit him in the chest. She was an incredibly friendly dog, but he jumped out at us and she just reacted. Dude went straight to the nearby liquor store, chased a woman around her car with a knife, and slashed her tire before being arrested. Good times.
Also saw a dude flying down the road towards a red light he clearly didn’t see. When my light turned green I waited, even though I was being honked at, and the guy flew through the red. Would have obliterated me.
Also avoided being attacked in the bushes outside my apt by awkwardly pointing to the security cameras. Same guy was arrested for attacking a woman across the street the very next day.
And... avoided being attacked by another psycho because my dog (a mini bull terrier) jumped on him and bit him in the chest. She was an incredibly friendly dog, but he jumped out at us and she just reacted. Dude went straight to the nearby liquor store, chased a woman around her car with a knife, and slashed her tire before being arrested. Good times.
Also saw a dude flying down the road towards a red light he clearly didn’t see. When my light turned green I waited, even though I was being honked at, and the guy flew through the red. Would have obliterated me.
Also avoided being attacked in the bushes outside my apt by awkwardly pointing to the security cameras. Same guy was arrested for attacking a woman across the street the very next day.
And... avoided being attacked by another psycho because my dog (a mini bull terrier) jumped on him and bit him in the chest. She was an incredibly friendly dog, but he jumped out at us and she just reacted. Dude went straight to the nearby liquor store, chased a woman around her car with a knife, and slashed her tire before being arrested. Good times.