"This was just a summer job at a fast food place. We had a new girl start and within two days it was apparent she was an idiot and everyone knew that. You could already see the manager questioning his decision.

Then on her third day of work she said she couldn't come in because her mom was in a car accident and in the hospital. Turns out that's an easy thing to disprove in a relatively small town."

"Oh, I've got one for this! I was hired to do tech support in a call center. On our first day of training there were about 30 of us in a room and we each had our own computer. The instructor said it was okay to use the computer for personal stuff during down time but the only rules were no games and no porn. One guy got fired before lunchtime, because he just couldn't resist the porn."

"A week.

I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine.

One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out."

"We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic."