"Oh you are an accountant, can you do my taxes?
No Mary i can't. I work for a corporate company not frigging H&R block. I mean I probably could but I don't wanna."
""Oh you're employed by our company as a robotic process automation engineer, does that means we're all going to be replaced by robots?"
I've come up with the perfect response to this now. "No, just you""
i always get confused when FedEx delivers my APC UPS'
Me - "Go to the ER."
Them - "Well, Google said..."