"What is this thing with cord about 5 feet long and two handles(?) about 14 inches long?"
A: "That’s the string to a diabolo. It’s a sort of yo-yo that people juggle with."
Anybody else have an actual answer?
it's a pill bottle. for narcotics. just like how those shops sell 'vases'
this was already the idiots edition before you stepped in, but you took it to a new level.