"Why is everything so damn bland? Why is white and grey the popular colors? Whatever happened to color? Why can't we have living rooms wallpapered with big bright flowers, long suede couches in deep fuchsia? And, mile-high blue carpets that you sink into when you walk? Whatever happened to walnut paneling and colored subway tile in the bathroom? Whatever happened to delicate stenciled flowers on the inside of the bowl of the bathroom sink?

When did we lose our personalities? I just want a house that looks like a manic-depressive toddler version of myself was set lose in a JoAnn's with a limitless credit card."

"There’s a builder in our area who tears down perfectly good, full-of-character pre-WWII homes and then packs in these grotesque Craftsman-style-hulk-mode houses that take up every available square foot of the lot. They look absolutely ridiculous. The proportions are wrong, they blight the neighborhood. Bleh."