"Holding my cat while outside. “Is that a cat?” “Why yes, yes it is”"

"I was having a disagreement with a customer in the workplace.

At one point she said “why would I be arguing with you if I was wrong?”.

I mean….what do you say after that?"

"I had the neighbors by for a quick chat a few years ago, and we happened to be standing by our goat pen, we had three at the time. For whatever reason, people don't really see goats as pets, and I'm often asked about their purpose, are they meat, etc.

Well, this guy asked if I milked them. I explained that they're all retired breeding males.

He followed that up by asking again if we milk them, and was so affronted by the look I could not help giving him that he left in a huff. I didn't mean to be rude, but I definitely looked at him as if he were an idiot and he was smart enough, at least, to figure that out."

"In retail "Where is the paint in this stupid store? I was sent down here and they lied! " "Right behind you (literally dozens of paint cans 8 feet behind her) " "No they're not!" I walk past her and put my hand on the can, took her a good 10 seconds of ranting to accept the paint was infact there."

"When people notice one of my tattoos "You know they are permanent Right?" Like sh#t I had no idea, if only I had known you before I got it"

"This is second hand from a diving guide in Bermuda: "how far do you have to dive to get under the island?""