I haven't posted for a while here, always busy...work, kids, life offline, you know. Coffee with friends, kids to the dentist, editing an article before publishing, giving a lecture. Now I have plenty of time...

Four days of war seem like four months. We are all tired emotionally, overwhelmed with news (can't read them anymore and cannot stop reading), sleeping, dressed to run to the basement quickly, trained to eat quickly, turn off the lights when the sun goes down. I remembered a movie I watched being a kid. A patriotic movie about brave soviet teenagers tortured by the Nazis...The only sort of teenage movies we had at that time. And I told my Mom: oh, I would have told them all the secrets... I’m not brave at all. And she said: that’s cause you sit in a warm place, eating sweets, you have everything you need. But if you have things to fight for, if you have people you can’t fail, you will be brave. Only then you’ll know what you’re made of. And my Mom was right. Now I know this for sure. It's madness, it's surreal, it's exhausting...but I’m not scared, I’m calm.

I have messages from my retired friends:
-hon, don’t make Bandera smoothies (molotov cocktails) in advance, they need to be fresh;
from my older friends:
- hey, went to the recruitment office, but there is a huge queue of volunteers;
- well, tried to donate blood but too many volunteers...
And I know these days we are tired, we feel bit nervous, we are overwhelmed with news... But we stay calm, we stay strong, we believe in our armed forces, we believe in ourselves. If our men have to shoot to protect our city, we will pass them the ammunition. We got used to checking in the mornings if our friends and family were alive. But I still can not believe this is happening.

We. Have. Actual. War.

We didn't start this war, Russia did. Eight years ago. Today Russian soldiers use banned missiles; Russia doesn’t give a shit about international agreements. Russia. Has. Started. Self-destruction. This is a point of no return. No way back. I guess we have another tough couple of nights in Kyiv. Iskander missiles over residential areas in my Kyiv and abouts.

But we are prepared. We are calm. We gonna fight. Fight hard. Fight back. We didn’t start the fire. But God forbid you come with war.