"I work at a restaurant, and the lack of common sense and courtesy shocks me every day. First of all, why are you going out to dinner if you're gonna be on your phone the whole time and can't even acknowledge me, the server, or the person you're with? I can't set your appetizers down because you guys have pushed your plates and silverware and wallets right in the middle of the table. And you're looking at me like I'm the weird one!"
"Also, sir, the plate is hot! Please do not grab it. Sir, the plate is HOT. THE PLATE IS HOT. Whenever people try to grab something to help because there's 'no room on the table,' it's appreciated, but really, it's just their phone or their drink needs to slide over. Just move it! It's not that hard! I've had people drop plates before because they wouldn't move their sh#t and didn't listen when I said it was hot."
"Grow the f@#k up."
"Oooh! You're in a hurry! If I only knew, then I would've called my husband to tell him the person who is in a hurry is right in front of me! He'd love to know why I'm taking an hour to get 3 items, but it's because there's like, someone blablabla..."