"When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he already had three missed calls from Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris‘s keyboard doesn’t have an escape key."
"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his bedroom. It’s not dead. It’s just too scared to move."
"Death had a near Chuck Norris experience once."
"When chuck Norris turned 18 his parents asked permission from him to move out of his house."
"Jesus might walk on water but Chuck Norris swims through land."
"Chuck Norris didn’t dial the wrong number."
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."
"I’m honestly sick of these lame Chuck Norris jokes! If Chuck Norris was so good, he would come here right now and smash my face into my keyboaasbaianabakNaksosmamakslsdscdsvdverjytyj"
"Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back."
"Chuck Norris once went to a feminist rally. He returned with 3 ironed shirts and a sandwich."
"Did you know Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer? Of course not, because Chuck Norris never cries."
"Chuck Norris worked as a lumberjack in a forest named Sahara."
"Did you know how the ninja turtles started? Chuck Norris ate 4 turtles. By the time he crapped them out, they were 6 feet tall and knew karate."
"Chuck Norris puts braille on his boots so even blind people know what’s coming."
"When he was born, Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital."
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