“A roofing nail went through my shoe, and into my heel the first time I went outside today.”
“Lost my job last Friday, now this.”
"Cars flooded overnight."
“My Tesla’s Horn Went off at 4AM for Over 20 Minutes Uncontrollably, $2000 Fix From Tesla.”
“Bought my dream car 3 months ago today. Lost it all in a matter of seconds yesterday.”
“To be taken on an EMPTY stomach 4x a day Thinking I just had a cough turned out to be laryngitis and an upper respiratory tract infection.”
“Startled awake at 3am by a violent shattering sound, found that my measuring cup spontaneously exploded”
"Slots and pasta don’t mix."
"Cute little thief."
“$350 for unobstructed view of cubs game at Wrigley for Father’s Day with my kid. FU StubHub!”
“How I found my car this morning”
“Fresh hair dye and my water just went out.”
“Made a microwave ramen bowl for lunch and the bottom randomly gave out, dumping the scalding hot noodles all over my bare feet”
"Didn't realise I had a bald spot until after I buzzed my hair"
"Lucky I just took a bite and feel weird"
"I paid my car off yesterday"
"I was accepted to a PhD program 4 years ago and I just found the email"
"Discovered rats are using my engine to store food"
"I was just trying to make some chili when I noticed the pantry beetles floating in their spicy hot tub"
yeah, fascism is way better than antifascism.