"Drove a semi truck full of mail from Providence to Boston with the trailer door open."
"Was giving a presentation to 300+ people and rested my arm on top of the podium in a spot where there was a button that turned the entire system off, taking ~10 minutes to reboot and get my presentation back up. 2 minutes into talking again, I did it again."
"Cut grass on a zturn for like an hour before I realized I forgot to turn the blades on"
"I needed to cut a 2 inch rubber hose. There wasn’t a table nearby so I put the hose on my knee and pushed the box cutter through the hose, directly into my knee. Sometimes the brain just doesn’t work."
"Brand new manager trainee. Had to sit through death by 90’s OSHA videos. All stuff I had seen before and I was incredibly bored of it. At the end of the video there was a random guy in our office I assumed was a customer and I sarcastically said “well that was an hour I’ll never get back”. He goes “did you not enjoy it?” I said “yeah I didn’t at all but like, I get it, safety comes first so it’s necessary but the videos are so common sense it hurts. Anyway can I help you real quick? I have a meeting to get to, big guy from corporate merchandising team several states away is gonna be here in an hour or two”.
He goes “I’m filling in for big guy from corporate, I’m the North American safety director. Let’s have a chat about your vision of safety at our workplace since you have that all figured out”"
"Working for an investment manager, he gave me an order to sell 80,000 dollars of Microsoft in a client account. Wasn’t thinking and entered a sell of 80,000 shares. MSFT was selling at $100+ per share at the time. Cr#pping bricks as I got the brokerage firm’s trading desk on the phone and waited on hold to hear if they could bust the trade…
They did. Phew."
"I’m an assistant. My second week on the job I took my boss’s $2000 personal computer to get repaired. When I was bringing it back to his house, I dropped it and cracked the screen.
Thank God it was a small crack and my boss is the chillest person on the planet, I genuinely thought I was going to get fired but instead he just happily started using it again and said it was no big deal since it still worked."
"Forgot to turn the sign to open. Coworker found out after he came out, asked why the place was empty and watched five people come to the door, stop, turn and walk away. I was hungover and stood at the counter like a zombie for an hour and a half having watched many people walk up and away.
Coworkers greeted me until I resigned with “Are we open?”"
"Was filling a paint drum and left to use the bathroom then proceeded to go on break and midway through a snack realized and ran all the way back to paint everywhere."
"First day on the job working for a cleaning company, the very first thing I did was pick a mop up from the bucket directly vertical, rather than at an angle, and shattered the overhead strip light above me. While talking to the boss."
"Taken a new medicine at work then made me act like I was drunk as f@#k , it was so embarrassing and stupid. I should’ve tried the new medicine at home first"
"Called the shredding company to ask them to shred our bin of already shredded paper."
"I was working at a retail hardware store about 25 years ago. I had to do the cash deposit and drop it off at the bank night drop. Don’t know how, but I forgot to go to the bank and went directly home instead. I didn’t even think about anymore. The cash bag with over $10k in cash and checks was waiting for me in the car the next morning. I didn’t even lock my car doors."
"First job was as a cart boy at a golf course. Pulled all the carts in for the night and forgot to plug them all in. Most were dead come morning on a Sunday. Fired on Monday."
"Got involved with a married coworker. Whom I later learned was just going through all the new male employees."
"I practice criminal law. During a drink drive trial I was, for some reason, using the word “circumscribed” during a question to a witness. However, without realizing it, what I actually said was “circumcised”. Twice. On break, the court reporter asked me why I said what I’d said. I didn’t believe her. She played it back for me. I’d said it."
"I am personally responsible for a US Navy warship losing all power and going completely dark in the middle of the night, in the middle of the pacific ocean, for almost a half hour."
• Don't insult other visitors. Offensive comments will be deleted without warning.
• Comments are accepted in English only.
• No swearing words in comments, otherwise such comments will be censored.
• Your nickname and avatar are randomly selected. If you don't post comments for 7 days, they both are reset.
• To choose another avatar, click the ‘Random avatar’ link.
