“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!”
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Cause they make up everything!”
“How do you cut someone’s arm off in woodworking class? Whittle by whittle.”
“What do you call a biscuit that is more intelligent than you? A smart cookie.”
“What do you call a detective that accidentally solves crimes? Sheer Luck Holmes.”
“Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team? Because she kept running away from the ball.”
“Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil? Never mind. It’s pointless.”
“Why did the student throw a clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.”
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
“There’s a new airline for book lovers. It has a large library of popular books. It’s called Jane Air.”
“Why were the fish’s grades bad? They were all below ‘C’ level.”
“Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.”
“Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said, ‘it was a piece of cake.'”
“Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.”
“What world capital has the fastest growing population? Ireland. The capital is Dublin every day.”
“How much do neutrons cost? Nothing, they’re free of charge.”
“What US state has the smallest drinks? Mini-soda.”
“What do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest? A constellation prize.”
“Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/4th.”
“How much do rainbows weigh? Not much; they’re actually pretty light.”
“Why are math teachers always so upset? They have so many problems.”
“Why did the student show up to school covered in wrapping paper? His teacher said he had to be present!”
“A lady asked me if I needed help when I was choking on some alphabet soup. She took the words right out of my mouth!”
“What did one tectonic plate say to another when they bumped into each other? Sorry, my fault.”
“What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.”
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