"That the police would pull us over, or we would straight-up all die if I turned one of the lights on in the car at night."
"Growing up, I was fully convinced that if I accidentally ate an apple seed, an apple tree would start growing out of the top of my head."
"That quicksand was gonna be a HUGE problem later in life."
"That my belly button was a knot where my skin was tied together and if I picked at it the knot would unravel and my skin would come off."
"I remember believing that if I swallowed gum, it would stay in my stomach for seven years. It seemed pretty plausible to me at the time. Each time I swallowed one I ended up crying for 2 hours."
"To make kids you need to sleep with the other person. Literally just sleep."
"Marilyn Manson removing his ribs…"
"The moon follows us when we’re in the car."
"The rumble strips on the highway are for blind drivers. It took me seven years to realize. Well played, Dad."
"For the longest time I believed that euthanasia was about young people in Asia."
"I heard of parents telling their kids when the ice-cream truck is playing music, it means they’re out of ice-cream."
"That my mom’s food was spicy."
"I thought TV hosts from live news could see me."
"If I sat too close to the TV I’d go blind."
"That I’d grow up to be happy."
"My older brother told me that little people worked inside of the street signals and were in charge of changing the lights from green, yellow and red."
"If I keep sucking on my thumb it will disappear."
"If I pulled a face then the wind would change and cause my face to be stuck like that forever."
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