“I couldn’t figure out why my cheese wasn’t melting. (The plastic wrap is still on)”
"When you mow your lawn and hit a hornets nest…"
“Soap dispenser dispensed soap a little too hard. Now I’m leaving my office bathroom looking like I just rubbed one out.”
“Smashed my pinky in a car door.”
“My friend accidentally shot himself in the leg”
“My flat’s been leaking for a week straight. I haven’t slept in days. I have to empty this bucket every 15 mins.”
“Paystub from a coal miner in WV 1942. Ends up owing his employer $1.84 ($35.76 in 2023) at the end of the pay period. This is when miners were paid in company currency and lived in company houses and shopped at a company store.”
“After a total of 160 km (100 mi), it is completely dead”
“You order ONE thing from Temu and the next day the the bank is like “Um are you in Singapore rn cause your credit card is being used there.”
“Why does my family do this to me and my knives?”
“The kids put my wife’s new water bottle in the dishwasher. Turns out its not dishwasher safe.”
“No hummus for me I guess”
“Moved my PC into my GF’s a Little Over an Hour Ago…”
“After a week I find my watch(which I had lost at home), when I had already ordered a new one.”
“Apparently the timer on our toaster quit working”
"My Friend Was Hit By A Car Running A Stop Sign Today And The Dude Left The Scene, But Hey, At Least He Left Her A Little Souvenir"
"Blizzard Blew The Main Door Of My Garage Open Yesterday"
"We Were Really Excited To Use A Lime From Our Lime Tree For The First Time"
"My Car Broke Down This Morning On My Way To Work And Had To Be Towed. Not 5 Minutes After I Got Home, My Ceiling Collapsed"
"Over 30 Cars Got Flat Tires On The 405 From A Fallen Box Of Nails"
"A Tornado Overnight In Thomaston, Georgia, Ripped A Home Off Its Foundation And Put It In The Road"
"Someone On The Ferry Forgot To Put The Handbrake On"
"Right Before I Left The Trampoline Park, I Put Back On My Blue Shoes. It Wasn’t Until I Got Home I Realized I Didn’t Wear My Blue Shoes To The Trampoline Park"
"Just Finished Chopping 2 Years Worth Of Firewood Just For The Barn I Was Storing The Firewood In To Burn Down"
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