All these things happened before.
Gorillas got drunk
Babies smoked pipes and/or solved mysteries
People rode REAL bikes
You could play piano in bed
Everyone was using shotguns
Dogs played mandolin
Whiskey vending machines existed
A child's first toy was a saw
You could play soccer against a panda
Baseball players drank and smoked in the dugout
People actually wanted to be the “Donut Queen”
Lions made great pets
Bears were made into chairs
Zebras pulled carriages
Cheetahs also made great pets
Lions rode shotgun
Tattoos were way more bad-ass
Monkeys played lounge music for puppies
Dogs could watch a movie
People did snuff
Little girls on rollerskates were incredibly intimidating
You could settle the score against a bear in the ring
Dogs smoked pipes and presumably joined the army
Lobsters made great pets too
Cats hung out in spaghetti
Puppies hung out in soldiers' pockets
Or better yet, Cary Grant.
Doctors looked like serial killers
Halloween was actually terrifying
Everyone looked cool with an eyepatch
This happened