Thanks to these people and situations none of us can have even a few nice things in life.
Because people keep doing the duck face
Because burglars like this exist
Because of Michael Cera's mustache
Because of adult babies
Because apparently kids are doing this
And this
And this?
Because this ruins every game
Because this person is still on the loose
Because this is how the animal kingdom really is
Because this is what happens when you let a tween name a street
Because none of us can cook
Because disaster is about to strike
Because this is what Beans from "Even Stevens" looks like today
Because these aren't around anymore
Because someone, somewhere, actually bought this shirt
Because Jason Alexander has hair now
Because of this Ashton Kutcher tattoo
Because Facebook is always a huge let down
And so are sandcastles
Because we lost this great man
Because no one reads this, anyway
Because the only thing that really matters is gone
Because someone let this happen
Because this tattoo happened
This one too
And this
Because this happened, too
Because no one can spell anymore
Because pickles taste better on top of a newspaper machine
And mayo on the bus
Because no one is helping this little guy
Or this little guy
Because you don't sound that great
Because people keep taking pictures with iPads
Because of fedoras
Because these people are allowed on Facebook
Because Snooki wrote a book
Because of Nickelback
Because someone let this happen
Because no one helped this panda go down a slide
Because not even roosters are safe anymore
Because Kesha and John Travolta are the same person
Because you'll never be this lady
Because of THESE THINGS
Because of holograms
Because you don't have these things
Because of IKEA
Because Kevin Chang won't let you
And neither will this Zebra
Zero tolerance for animal abuse.
#16