Some Yellow Food
Some Flying Fish Spawn
ALL THE GARLIC
This Amazing Wheel of Meat
Or This Sexy-Ass Steak
These Beauty Calorie Noodles
Or This Sweet, Garlic Pastry
This Low-Calorie Water
This Beer-Through-A-Straw At A Movie Theater
Or this winery wine — which is like, totally, from a winery.
These Mona Lisa Chocolate Cookies
These Nappies
In Australia, “goon” is slang for boxed wine.
Or these sanitary pads, which include an interactive display.
These Must-Have Beauty Aids
And These Ones
This Mouth Strap
It’s meant to keep your mouth closed, so your throat doesn’t get dry(?).
These Women’s Linge
And These Running Panties
This Notebook
This Ken Doll Hair Wax
This Vuvuzela Sexual Lubricant
These Powerful Eyedrops
Condoms and/or Mentos from This Well-Meaning Dispenser
This Organic, Green-Tea TP
Some Frisk Gum to Sharpen You Up in One Touch
These Silkworm Pills
Or These Larva Multivitamins
These Dog Panties
And/or These Ones
I'm used to getting betrayed, after all.