The dream of waking up and randomly finding the source of your depression.
The frustrating way people talk about mental illness versus other illnesses.
Your relationship to your bed.
Oh, the exasperating prison that is your relationship to your bed.
The inexplicable loss of interest in things that once gave you so much joy.
The never-ending cycle of paralysis.
The persistent, engulfing darkness.
And invisibly carrying that darkness with you everywhere you go.
The inability to communicate how you actually feel.
Not being able to recognize yourself.
Feeling SO OVER THIS SHIT.
The loneliness.
Having to deal with people delegitimizing your pain.
The difficulties of trying to share your feelings with family.
The particular difficulties of being a student dealing with depression.
Knowing how you ridiculous you sound and yet…
The difficulties of trying to get your friends to understand.
The unbelievable strength it takes to ask for help.
The roller coaster ride of healing.
Celebrating the little things.
Thank you for reading, now time for an internet hug.
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the thing is, untreated depression shrinks your hippocampus (coordinator of learning and memory) over time, and anxiety damages your telomeres (area of your chromosomes related to how you age) over time. but the good news is that such damage can be reversed.
so i would recommend to anyone-- search for a solution that works for you, such as supplements, meds, herbs, exercise, yoga, meditation, therapy, sex, a certain music, a private getaway, a supportive group, animal friends, a teaching situation, an artistic expression...... whatever seems to work and hopefully doesn't cause future problems for you.
then if you feel better, do yourself a favor... work to slowly understand yourself and the reasons (external and internal) that cause you depression. over time you will build a powerful friend and student doctor of sorts, able to extend whatever hand they can to you across the toughest moments of the rest of your life.
what is really more important than that?