When I listen to music I used to listen to in high school
When I hear the girl behind me ask her friend what my name is
When I try to catch the soap I dropped in the shower
When my little cousin gets his first Pokemon game, and he says he is going to name his starter after me so we can always be on a team together
When my wife whispers to me in a public place “did you just fart?”
When I’m one of the only ones who actually BYOB to a party
When my girlfriend says she’ll be ready to go out in 15 minutes
When I find out I got a small raise
When I walk into a strip club for the first time and there are multiple stages
When the lady in front of me in the checkout lane pulls out her checkbook to pay for groceries
When I look at myself in the mirror after the night of heavy drinking
When I read that ejaculating 5 times a week lowers risk of prostate cancer
When people clap at the end of a movie
When my friends suggest we break out Mario Kart on N64
When I used fake pictures on my dating profile and show up to meet my date
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