Microsoft's main campus is situated in Redmond and it sits on 8 millions square feet (743,224 square meters). There are 80 buildings but all of them but one are closed off to nonemployees. The one that is opened to everybody is the Microsoft Visitor Center where you can find the Microsoft Company Store, and a gift shop that has an exclusive products you can only find there. Check out what you can see in the Visitor Center.
There's not much to see on the Microsoft campus for nonemployees, apart from a few basketball courts, soccer fields, and tourist photo opportunities. That's me being a tourist, by the way.
But there's one building you can get inside: the Microsoft Visitor Center. It's guarded by Master Chief and Spartan Locke, the heroes of Microsoft's 'Halo 5: Guardians.' They don't look happy to see me.
The Visitor Center holds a tiny museum dedicated to Microsoft's long history ...
... plus some stations where you can mess around with Microsoft's games and technology. Somehow, every kid in the joint had figured out how to get Minecraft running on all of the demo computers sitting around.
But the best part is probably the Microsoft Company Store, which is the only place to get a lot of exclusive Microsoft-branded merchandise.
That means T-shirts, like this kind of poorly advised NWA tribute ...
... mugs, like this kind of cool Xbox One controller design ...
... and other kinds of apparel and accessories.
Seriously, there's a lot here. Check out these Microsoft-branded sports jerseys for kids and adults.
Or these Xbox flip-flops.
Some of it's weird, like these plastic 'Genius Juice' flasks. I don't know what it's like in Washington, but I feel as if I'd get in trouble just for having one of these in San Francisco.
Some of it's cute, like this Microsoft teddy bear I got for my mom. (Hey, mom, if you're reading this: surprise!)
There's a healthy selection of Minecraft stuff, but not much more than you can get at your local Target.
There's other stuff for kids, though.
And some stuff for babies.
You can also get these torso-sized Xbox One controller pillows. I would have absolutely bought one of these if I then didn't have to worry about getting it home.
There's also a selection of Halo-themed stuff, including backpacks, headsets, action figures, and other accessories.
There are also Bing polo shirts, if a Bing polo shirt is what you desire.
Indeed, some of the T-shirts seem to have pretty niche appeal. Remember that these are for Microsoft employees as much as they are for tourists like myself — it's the company store, after all.
And some of them are clearly aimed at IT departments. I got this one for my dad.
There's a whole line of merch based on Microsoft Office puns. Like this one ...
... and this one. There's also one that says 'Simply Excel.' Get it? Do you? Do you get it?
There's also an employee side of the store where you need to have a Microsoft company badge just to get in. But if you make it, there are steep discounts of as much as 75% for Microsoft-made software and hardware.
On a final note, I can't believe more people didn't want these Windows Phone magnets. Oh well.