You have two vital organs that get the most say in your life. Your brain and your…heart.
Can you hear that? It’s the sound of your “wick” cackling faintly.
You log into a happening hot girls chat and try to play it cool. Keep it together. You’re a charmer. You can do this. Then knock, knock. Who is it? It’s your personal one-gun salute here to remind you it has other plans. Those plans are to troll the hell out of your brain until one of you makes a move – either to a cold shower or to turning on the web cam. Might as well not be the only thing turned on in the room.
Good luck getting that visual out of your head. Now you’re stuck trying to think how to un-sexy- fy sending a flowers emoji. “Wick”: 1, Brain: 0.
Then again, it’s not like he doesn’t have a point. Now just try to decide if you can live with taking spicy advice from Mr. Bean.
That clear your head? Brain: 1.
It’s not exactly fair with “wick” takes over brain’s imagination department, is it? Well, at least he’s good at his job. And works for free. Even overtime. Even on the weekends. Even when you beg him to go home.
But damn he’s good at his job.
It’s hard enough trying to keep “wick” in his place when he’s infecting your endorphin release protocol, rerouting your eye focus, and really making extra work for your conversation library. Now he’s laying out lame come-ons. Dude. Cut me a break.
At least brain kept ahold of the comeback division. Score 1, but it’s something of a hollow victory.
At least they have a good working relationship.
Then “wick” proceeds to remind brain what powers the other body parts have, and how to definitely convince a woman they’re super.
In the background, you can hear the sound of the concentration department descending into chaos. Thanks, “wick”.
That’s okay. It’s not like you needed a paycheck anyways, RIGHT, “WICK”?
It’s like having a terrorist for an appendage. A very fun terrorist. Who’s going to get very quiet once the bills come in.
Heart wouldn’t give you these troubles. It’d just blow your money on a boom box and the inevitable beer tab when it turns out Lionel Richie doesn’t get you everywhere.
So maybe “wick” does have his purposes…