Life would be a lot easier if you and man’s real best friend could just sit down for a chat, right? There have probably been a few times when you’ve looked down like, “Really? Really, bro?” but received no response – except the most obvious kind.
When you’re browsing iamnaughty.com or scoping out the bar for a beautiful woman, wouldn’t it be great to receive a text rather than an imposing announcement?
In the best situations and in the worst, here’s what your personal man lance would have to say.
1. When You’re Trying Out a New Brand of Condom
Hey, you thought it was cool! Who doesn’t like glow-in- the-dark? Apparently an appendage that has better ideas for the evening than sound effects. What a loser.
2. When the Evening Didn’t Go as Planned
It doesn’t matter what happened – it’s about work ethic! It’s about arriving with you’re A- game! It’s about- yeah, what was with the Sophie thing?
Just be glad Warrior Sword doesn’t have Union Rights. Princess or no, who wants a lawsuit on their hands.
3. About Your Choosing Habits
Hopefully a wise woman will T-for- tolerate your nether friend’s sensitivity to the word Princess.
4. About How Women Work
All that collaboration – and still no one piped in to say referring to your partner as royalty with some slightly different, but very crucial, changes to the phrasing would’ve been a good idea?
5. When You Get Totally Wasted
Word to the wise. Never put Warrior Sword in charge of foreign relations while you take a break from the world. He’ll do his best, but the Hen Party Group Chat is rather merciless.
6. When You Really Want to Bring Your A-Game
It would be the worst army on the face of the planet. But somehow we don’t think they’d really mind.
Either overzealous or really reserved – you can’t work with this guy!
7. When it Gets You Into Trouble
Some advanced warning would be more welcome than the commentary. But, eh, they don’t call it a dick for nothing.
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