Air conditioning everywhere, pumped up to the max.
Don't get me wrong, when it's 108 degrees outside, AC is a real blessing and I wouldn't survive a summer in NYC without it. But do we really have to go from sweltering heat to literally 40 degrees indoors? Can't we find some nice middle ground between sweating our asses off and having to wrap ourselves in a blanket to make it through a day at the office?
All the commercial breaks on TV.
Literally every five minutes. There are so many commercial breaks on network TV that a 40-minute episode ends up lasting an hour. That's a third of your time spent watching stupid commercials.
The huge gaps in the toilet doors.
The obsession with icy cold water.
The longer I stay in the US, the more I actually like icy cold water. It's definitely nice and refreshing in the summer. But restaurants serve glasses filled with ice cubes to the brim in the middle of January. Do you really need to feel even colder when it's freezing outside? Also, does no one have sensitive teeth in this country?
The thing you call French bread.
Having a hundred flavors of everything.
Just in case you weren't sure which country you were in.
Not having the tax included on the price tag.
It'd actually be nice to know exactly what you're gonna end up paying when you pick something off the menu.
Laws changing from state to state.
In one state you can make a right on a red light, but not in another state. In some, consumer fireworks are banned, while in others they're okay. How do you keep up?
Ads for lawyers and doctors.
Just my opinion, but you probably shouldn't get the name of your new dermatologist from the subway.
The size of your highways.
Your fucking unit system.
Pardon my French, but why can't you use the celsius scale and the metric system like basically everybody else on this planet?
Commercials for prescribed drugs.
These ads are literally 2% commercial and 98% obligatory listing of all the possible side effects. Why even bother?
Waiters asking you if everything is okay all the time.
If it's not okay, I'll let you know. In France, we like our waiters indifferent and borderline rude — you could literally choke in front of their eyes and they wouldn't pay you any attention.
Pharmacies where you can fill up on beer and cigarettes along with your prescription drugs.
Selling you the cause of the disease and the cure to it at the same store is equally savvy and cynical.
The size of cars.
Why does everything have to be so big in this place?
People out in the world in their PJs.
You gotta admire the total lack of fucks given.
When "how are you?" actually means "hello" and people DGAF about how you are.
Bad for rinsing your butt and bad if you're tall. Just bad.
The fact that all your currency looks identical.
It's all pretty much the same color and the same size.
Getting carded when you're old enough to be a grandparent.
Weirdly flavored lattes.
Pumpkin spice, s'mores, peppermint, unicorn(?)... It's like you don't actually like coffee.