" I could’ve used the box from my Amazon package and gotten much better results."

“I bought my wife a Chevy Sonic when they first came out. So many little things have broken in that car. Mostly small inconvenient stuff, but some not so small. So many small electronic things have had to be replaced. I’ve always found my Chevy vehicles to be very reliable, but not this one. Never again.”

" In the middle of the night, they would wake up, plotting and talking to each other in their Furby language. Nightmares. Never again."

“I literally bought this mask to figure out what it was. My face was burning like fire after using it...”

“Anything that says ‘Hi, I’m Peppa Pig’ and has no off button.”

“It doesn’t scrub, but instead scrapes the skin like sandpaper.”

“I will never ever buy a habanero with the intention of eating it raw again. I’m not going to lie it was the spiciest thing I’ve ever eaten, but I like spicy food so I thought I could tough it out. I got it down with some milk. And this is where the fun began. My colon absorbed some of the capsaicin, which is the active ingredient in peppers that makes them hot, and even after passing it, it was still burning. And not just burning like the day after you eat chipotle. It was absolutely debilitating. I was curled up on my toilet in a fetal position from the pain.”

“I’ve maybe bought about a dozen of these printers in my life. The ink tends to finish in it every now and then and it is impossible to continue working without it. Fortunately, a couple of years ago I switched to a laser printer and now I’ll definitely never go back to the inkjet one.”

“I like cheese but these vegan products are not similar to it in any way. Anyone who tries to say they are, please keep your opinion to yourself.”

“I had been using an IKEA glass desk for about 2 years until one fine morning it suddenly exploded into a thousand tiny pieces. There was no single piece larger than my fingernail. It took me several days to clean the house from all the glass.”

“That feeling when you pull a Q-tip out and it no longer has the cotton on it.”

“It ripped the curtains off the wall, brought the TV down, and freaked out the dogs while vacuuming only 30% of the carpet. And then it got stuck in the corner.”

“Not only does it have a terrible taste, but a terrible smell too. And I couldn’t get rid of the smell for several days. It smelled as if someone had been farting for a long time. And I’m not joking.”

“Years ago we went to Miami to go on a cruise. We needed to stay overnight somewhere and then board the ship in the morning. Since we only needed a place for less than 12 hours, we just got a cheap hotel room. It was awful, it was gross, the police came a couple of times for people in other rooms, and I thought we were going to be murdered before we got on our cruise. Now, it’s nice hotels only, even if they do cost more.”

“The wood is so soft that I got several splinters from accidentally scraping my thumbnail on it. And my bed frame was not meant to be taken apart at all. I’m surprised it survived my move, but it’s definitely not making it through another.”

“Trust me, just buy the heavy-duty expensive ones. It’s worth it.”

“I don’t know how, but I think it actually intensified the heat.”

“Always spare no expense on the things that come between you and the ground.”

“I followed every instruction on the bottle rigorously, which I never do — and I was rewarded with about a week and a half of itchy, red, inflamed, burning, horrible red bumps. I had to slather myself in coconut oil just to go to work and not itch every 5 seconds or experience horrible burning.”

“This stuff is basically raw meat that is left to rot (not dry, rot) in the sun and then packed in fat. I never even got to the point of attempting to eat it, the smell alone was just so horrifying. I had to throw out the pan I cooked it in and leave the windows open (in the middle of winter) all night, and even then the smell stuck around for days.”

“Never skimp on toilet paper quality. We deserve more. Moreover, you won’t save much money buying it because you’ll have to roll more to get a slightly thicker paper to use.”

“These things are deceitful. The first one isn’t hot. The second isn’t hot. The third isn’t hot. The fourth one isn’t hot. It’s not until half the bag is gone, and that stuff is good and caked in your mouth, that it turns your mouth into Satan’s cauldron. And by then, it’s too late.”

“Give me razors, deodorants, shower gels, and everything else for men. They cost half as much and are consumed twice as slowly as all the similar products for women.”