You know when you've won the avocado lottery.
And when you've lost the avocado lottery.
Loving avocados means you're basically playing a constant game of chicken that you regularly lose.
And you dream of science someday figuring out how to make all avocados look like this:
The struggle of cutting into an avocado and immediately needing to consume it before it turns brown is REAL.
You will put avocado on anything, and you are more than happy to pay dearly for that.
You have nightmares about cutting yourself every time you have to get the pit out of an avocado.
When you're shopping for avocados and find one that seems like THE ONE, you feel a deep sense of victory.
You know that if you cut into an avocado, you're eating that whole thing.
But you also know the feeling of eating so much avocado that it hurts, which is confusing.
If you knew there was one perfectly ripe avocado, you'd do a lot of shit to make it yours.
So you have no judgments when it comes to other people's avocado needs.
You have a moment of pure bliss each time you open an avocado and see that it's totally perfect.
And you simply can't understand people who say they don't eat avocado: It's a good fat, damnit.
At this point you're in a deeply committed relationship with avocado.
Because you know that when you need it, avocado will always be there for you.
And finally, you know loving avocado is a lifestyle, which you're totally here for.
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