Frying bacon? That takes so much time and washing up. It's much easier just to microwave it instead.
Cutting up a mango is a whole minute of your life you'll never get back, which is why it makes total sense to eat it like an apple.
Isn't leaving your room to cook just the worst? Solve that problem by warming up last night's leftovers with a hairdryer!
Sometimes there are no clean bowls, so you have no choice but to eat your cereal out of a hat.
If you're a little more classy, you might have it from a wine glass instead.
Or you can just cut out the washing-up completely, and eat it straight from the bag with a plastic spoon.
Why bother with the crumbs you get from making a proper sandwich when you can just make one entirely from cheese?
And if you do decide to use bread, actually picking the sandwich up is definitely far too much effort.
Avoid going back and forth between your room and the kitchen by just Skyping your food!
Idiots wash up forks. Clever people use two knives as chopsticks.
Even cleverer people just use pens.
Actually, why bother making food at all when you can just suck up a delicious pouch of baby food?!
Burritos are good, but you know what's better? Eating a whole potato with a napkin around it.
Everyone knows washing up is for losers, but eating off clingfilm? That's what winners do.
Rulers are great at measuring stuff, but what they're really for is scooping yoghurt out of small pots.
Peeling off a sticker is far too much effort in the 21st century.
Some people might say eating rice with a random lid instead of a fork is trashy, but those people suck.
And a broken clothes hanger is obviously not useless garbage, it is an acceptable and ingenious eating tool.
Thankfully, the supermarkets are here to save us from ever having to do anything ever again.
Just IMAGINE peeling an orange!
And these avocado halves? They are the most necessary thing the human race has ever created.
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