I’m in the military, right? I share a barracks room with two other sailors, and there are two bathrooms. My roommates share the larger bathroom with a tub and a window. I have the small one with a tiny shower and the washing machine.
My toilet paper has been disappearing very quickly, and today, I come home from my 4th day in a row of an 18 hr shift with a 30 minute commute. I’m tired and I have to take a s@#t. There was a roll of TP on the hook and a spare in the bag I bought it in when I left.
Toilet paper is gone and not only is it empty on the roll, the bag is empty on the floor. They didn’t even throw either of them away.
So I went to the bathroom they share, took the last roll of toilet paper, and put it in my locker.
We live on base in an area where nothing is open past 9 pm. Oh and even when they open… I’m the only one who has a car or even a license. It’s 9:07 pm. 2107 local time, bitches.
If they want TP now they’ll have to wait until tomorrow AND either walk or take the bus to the store.
Years ago I worked at a library in NYC. There was one day a patron comes in. He’s wearing a fresh Armani suit, and a pair of Ray Bans on his head. He has his Mercedes parked outside. He returns a book and it winds up being a day late. The late penalty was 25 cents.
He starts fighting me about how I’m wrong and I should waive his fine. I refused and fought him back on the issue. He showed me his receipt and it showed that it was a day late. He then starts saying our computer system is wrong.
I eventually said to him “dude its only a quarter, you don’t even have to pay it, you can let it sit there for the rest of your life” he then lashes out and goes “NO! Its not about the money! Its about the principle. I was not late”.
So my manager eventually comes and makes me look like a complete a$$@oles. She goes “So sorry sir, let me waive that for you”. He then looks at me and insults the clothes I am wearing, and calls me a peasant. I responded by calling him a “bald headed prick”. He then threatens to sue the library. My manager tells me to go outside and get some fresh air. The balded headed prick then goes to look for another book.
When I go outside I noticed hes illegally parked. I also see a traffic cop handing tickets out. I called the traffic cop over and he writes out the ticket and leaves it under his windshield wiper. The guy comes out, see’s the ticket and starts flipping out. I yelled out at him and said “Good luck getting that waived, peasant”.
One of the best moments of my life.
This was quite a while ago when I was still in the Navy. I was at a training command and was forced to share barracks with another student. Our barracks were connected to another bedroom by a communal bathroom.
In that bathroom everyone had a little space designated for their toiletries. Pretty basic stuff. Body wash, toothpaste, shampoo, etc. I noticed that my shampoo was draining much faster than normal.
I confronted my roommate and our neighbors. They all denied using my stuff. The rate at which my shampoo was disappearing had appeared to slow down to a normal speed after the conversation. It wasn’t long before I noticed someone was tapping into my expensive tea tree shampoo again.
I was over it. I picked up a bottle of hair removal cream at a drug store along with a new bottle of shampoo for myself. I mixed the cream into the remaining shampoo in the old bottle, hiding my new bottle of shampoo in with my uniforms.
The next day my roommate, who I didn’t suspect was the shampoo bandit, had a completely bald head. Even his eyebrows were gone. This guy obsessed over what little hair the Navy let him have. He always slicked it back in that pompadour look and meticulously obsessed over each strand of hair each morning so his cover wouldn’t mess it up.
I was amazed it was him since he seemed like the kind of guy that would splurge on expensive hair products. His toiletries container was mostly barren, so I assumed he was just hiding the expensive stuff from us. We never spoke a word about it, and he never used my shampoo again.
Many years ago, my then-fiance and I lived in an apartment complex tucked behind a rundown commercial strip on the edge of a college campus. I went to the laundry room to find that someone not only took my clothes out of the one working dryer long before the dry time I paid for was up (they were not just damp but cold), but left me a nasty note about how I should be more considerate of my neighbors’ busy schedules.
I was getting ready to leave for my night-shift job, and my work clothes were in that load of wash. So were my ex’s dress shirts for his sales job, and the laundry room would lbe locked when he got home. We were also just out of college and in entry level jobs, so we were pretty broke and didn’t have any spare change lying around.
Fortunately for me, I could fit into my ex’s clothes and my job had a loose interpretation of “business casual,” so I was able to find something wearable in his closet.. I knew that the letter writer didn’t live in my building, as it was written in English and we were the only English speakers there. (It was not uncommon for students in a neighboring complex to use our laundry room, as the prices were cheaper than theirs.)
And I had a $5 bill in my wallet, and our building was directly behind a 7-11.
So I went there to make laundry change by purchasing a large cherry Slurpee…which, along with an extra $1 for another cycle, went straight into the still-running dryer full of light-colored clothes.
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