“My mom hired a guy to build us a deck and I saw him looking at me through my upstairs window on the first day. He was super hot and Russian and the idea of us being alone and him working while I brought him drinks and snacks was so exciting. Me being an 18-year-old, was already sold into the idea of screwing this contractor. We f@#ked on the last day of installation. He was a good lay but the deck turned out like s@#t.”