“This is Liam. He’s the best friend ever! He spent $200 to take me out to eat. Love him like a brother”
“Me after winning an argument with my wife”
“No one came to my loneliness seminar.”
“My friend after he got rejected 4 times by the same girl”
Every other person in the room looks disappointed, especially the man in the back with his head in his hand. The guy up front is showing everyone his Pokémon collection.
“Waited in line for this rollercoaster for 2 hours, and when I finally got to the front, they said I was too tall.”
“Found an old picture I took of the pillow I cried into, after my ex broke up with me.”
“The hair I wanted vs The hair I got”
This is one really weird date.
“My bike, after work”
At least he tried.
No one came to his book signing...
This father sat on the couch watching TV while his son sits alone, about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.
“I love this dog, but it doesn’t even notice me. Just like women.”
“Please, never get a girlfriend, so we can stay friends forever.”
“My friend had almost finished it and then this happened.”
“I asked Sanaa what was wrong and she said she didn’t want to be a mommy anymore because her baby wouldn’t listen.”
“She said no. But she put it on to make me feel better.”