“Someone decided to cut in front of us and we had to hit the brakes…”
“Dropped my credit card in a public toilet. While it had a stranger’s pee in it.”
“This is my bag that was left there.:
“Dad started the grill before I came over and forgot to watch it or wet the dry grass first.”
“Tractor caught fire at work.”
“I bit into my donut and there was just air.”
“The Roomba didn’t come home last night after it’s scheduled cleaning and is no where to be found.”
“Lost a trusty old friend today…”
“So my vaccum robot got into my Lego room.”
“I work as a mobile mechanic. Had 15+ customer cars that I was bending over at their houses, showing them the wrong kind of crack… They weren’t like this when I put them on this morning.”
“They thought parking under this street light would be a safe spot overnight.”
“Left the dog at home to go to a funeral a few hours away. Our car’s tire pressure light came on when we were driving on the interstate so we had to pull over and never made it to the funeral. Got home and found out our dog was locked in the bedroom and had done this.”
“Came back from vacation to this. Apartment complex doesn’t have cameras so I have no idea who did it. And I have a $1000 deductible on my insurance so I basically have to pay for the repair myself. Fml.”
“Was so excited for that sweet feeling of peeling the plastic off, why is this world so cruel?”
“Amazon Prime & I waited 4 days, breast pump FINALLY came in… it’s invisible?”
“Oven light fell out while I was cooking a pizza.”
“My neighbor’s car this morning.”
“I babysat a family with a dog tonight.”
“My UberEats delivery, he was on a bike.”
“They stole my gym bag that only had sweatpants and socks in it.”
“I was in New York for the first time in my life. My wife and I spent almost 10 hours on a plane, crossed the Atlantic Ocean and flew 7,500 kilometers. We climbed the top of the rock to enjoy a view of central park. We had only one day in New York and this view will always be with us.”
“Joke’s on you I’m a poor college student and that backpack only had dirty clothes in it.”
“I got scalped by my son’s stupid robotic snake.”
“My bathroom cabinet came down tonight.”
“Got stuck in mud, ground was solid for a human but not a 5 ton machine.”
“Drunk driver hit my parked car at 4 a.m. this morning.”
“My son left the bathroom tap running with the plug in ,the day before our landlords house inspection . Bye bye deposit .”
“I dropped a salt dispenser on my stove.”
“Finally made a good lattice crust then I went and knocked my cactus onto it.”
“Trying to be handy and I fell through the ceiling…”
“This guy using his phone’s light to play crossword puzzles during the majority of my 5 hour flight home.”
“My bike after work today.”
Frozen…burst…pipes.
“My dog found my rainy day stash and ate it.”
“Getting away from an erupting volcano today”
“Someone on the ferry forgot to put handbrake on.”
“PSA. Be sure to check the lid of your hot sauce is firmly fastened BEFORE giving it a vigorous shake.”
“Dropped a small perfume.”
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...dogs always mimicking their owners, if dog an idiot it speaks volumes about the owner.