“My little brother eats his burger layer by layer.”
“I was on the same flight with a guy. Just look at his desktop.”
“Someone, please, remind me to wash my spray tan off before feeding my baby!”
“3 people are trying to unlock the car to get the keys out. But there is plastic taped over the back window.”
The worst type of passengers:
“People in my country”
Perfectionists should just look away.
It seems like we need to solve the problems with shopping carts on a legislative level.
Just, no comment...
When you ask your mom to close the door:
“Dear post office workers! If you’re delivering a box and it sounds like broken glass and you have to put it in a bag because it’s leaking, maybe just go ahead and keep it?”
“I forgot to put water in my noodles and nearly burnt my house down.”
Why do we need new games, if we have an old Nokia’s “snake” stimulator?
“I ignored my girlfriend’s texts after a tough shift at work. She took her frustration out on my TV. RIP, big guy.”
Really, what do you do with 4 children at once?