“This Is Why My Kid Is Going Places”
“Asked My Daughter To Lean Against The Pole For A Picture”
“Best One Today”
“I Asked My Wife To Send Me Some Underwear Pictures, This Is What I Got In Return”
“Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn”
“Name This Plant”
“Oh Susan”
“Told My 3 And 4-Year-Olds To Put The Toilet Paper Under The Sink. Must Be More Specific Next Time”
“My History Prof Wanted Us To Write A Paragraph From Any Historical Figure’s Point Of View And Urged Us To Be As “Realistic As Possible””
“Asked For “Nothing” As Dessert On A Disney Cruise. Got This Masterpiece”
“After A Huge Meal (Schweinshaxe) In Berlin I Asked For Just A Small Beer. This Is What The Waiter Brought Me”
“This Person, Who Took His Girlfriend To All The World-Class Cities Of Ohio”
“I Asked My Wife To Pick Up Some Frozen Fruit At The Grocery Store”
“This Girl Waiting Here”
“Anarchist Here. My Uncle And I Are Cut From Different Cloth”
“My Wife’s Grandma Likes To Buy Us Snacks Whenever She Goes To The Store, So We Asked Her For Some Sour Cream And Onion Chips. We Were Amused By What She Came Back With”
“Don’t Hesitate When Telling David Your Name”
“Went Through The Taco Bell Drive-Thru With A Friend. When Asked If We Wanted Sauce, I Said: “As Much As You’re Allowed To Give Me”. I May Have Made A Mistake”
“My Wife, A Venezuelan Smart-Mouth”
“Not What I Meant, But Ok”
“Probably”
“Picture On The Credit Card”
“I’m Done”
“Spoons”
“When You Ask For A Golden Retriever For Your Birthday And Your Boyfriend Gets You This”
“I Asked My Brother To Take A Picture Of Me In Spain And This Was The Actual Picture He Thought Was Fine (P.S. I’m Not Wearing A Hat)”
“These Guys Always Have The Best Signs”
“Boss Said I Wasn’t Using Enough Wet Floor Signs While Mopping”
“My Husband Asked Hardees To Put Extra Frosting On His Cinnamon Biscuit”
“I Think My Barista Is Trolling Me”
“And You Even Can’t Be Mad At Him”
“My Friends’ Kid Asked For A 3DS For His Birthday”
“I Told My Students To “Include The Word Count In Your Essays”
“Asked My Husband To Put The Pillowcases On The Pillows”
“Was Worried About Privacy, So I Asked If They Could Put A Door Up To The Men’s Change Room. Problem Solved”
“Coffee Shop Compliance”
“Asked For A Small Frosty But In A Medium Cup “I Wasn’t Sure, But Hope This Is What You Were Asking For”
“Taking Advantage Of A Poorly Worded Question On A Music History Test”
“My Cousin’s Friend Ordered A Chicken Burger And Asked For Mayo On The Top And Bottom, This Is What She Got”