If You Want To Download A Song, Start Downloading Before Bed. It Should Be At Like 99% By The Time You Wake Up

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If Your Mouse Is Lagging, Take Out The Ball And Clean It. It's Probably Just Dusty

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Use Sites Like Mapquest To Print Directions For Where You're Heading. Never Get Lost Again

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Never Shut Down Your Computer Unless You See The "It's Now Okay To Shut Down Your Computer"

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If The Game Isn't Working, Just Take It Out And Blow On It

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When You Get A 2-Day Rental From Blockbuster In The Evening, You Actually Have Until The Morning Of The Third Day To Return It Without A Late Fee

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When Burning Your Next Ripped Smashmouth, Nirvana Or Alanis Morisette Cd, Make Sure You Close All Open Programs To Avoid Buffer Underrun

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If You Have A Quick Message For Someone, And You Are Near A Payphone But Don't Have 25 Cents, Dial 1-800-Collect And When It Asks To Say Your Name, Say The Message Real Fast. ::ring Ring:: "Hello?" "You Have A Collect- Call From [ma-Practiceisovercomepickmeup], Will You Accept The Charges?

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Keep A Disposable Camera In Your Glove Compartment. If You Get Into A Car Accident You Can Use It To Take Photos For Insurance Purposes

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Can't Afford A Magic Eye Poster? Simply Take A Photo Of Some TV Static, Stick It To Your Wall And Tell Everyone It's A Dolphin

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In Simcity, Press Ctrl+shift+c And Enter 'Motherlode' For An Extra 50,000 Simoleans

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Grab The Free Aol Floppies At Comp USA Checkout Stands, Then Place A Piece Of Tape Over The Lock Hole. Reformat The Disk, And Use Them For Personal Files

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When Leaving Your Car Hide Your Radio

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If You Get A Prank Call, Just Dial *69 To Call Those Bastards Back And Confront Them

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If You Don't Have Any More Room In Your Packed Bags Before Flying Somewhere, Wear Cargo Pants And Cram A Bunch Of Stuff In The Pockets. To Avoid Getting Gouged On Drinks At The Airport, Stuff A Couple Bottlers Of Soda In Those Pockets, And A Plastic Flask

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Waiting For A Phone Call Call And Don't Want Your Parents To Hear It Ring? Call The Movie Theater And Listen To Today's Listings Until Call Waiting Beeps

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Twist A Knotted Slinky Counter To The Knot, Then Twist Back The Opposite Direction To Quickly Fix A Messed Up Slinky

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When Playing Simon, Assign Each Color A Number. Count Them Out As They Light Up, It's Easier To Remember A Number Sequence Than Colors

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Save Yourself A Lot Of Time And Invest In A Vhs Rewinder

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When You're Watching Scrambled Porn Around Midnight On The Playboy Or Spice Channels, Make Sure You Have Cartoon Network Or Espn On Your "Last Channel" Button Just In Case Mom Or Dad Check On You

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If A Winged Tamagotchi Appears On Your Screen, It Means That Your Tamagotchi Decided To Go Back To It's Home Planet. But Don't Despair, Simply Press The (A) And (C) Buttons At The Same Time And Your New Egg Is Ready For Hatching

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Computer Frozen? Hold Ctrl+alt+delete To Close The Application Or Restart

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Pad All Important Files To 1.45mb So They're Too Big To Be Stolen On A Floppy Disk

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Your Computer Game Running Too Fast Or Too Slow? Switch The Turbo Button On Your Computer Case On/Off

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Frost Your Tips For 100% Success With The Ladies

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Convince Your Friends That You're A Supercool Raver By Sticking Strips Of Coloured Tin Foil To Your Trousers

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Hold Your Slammer Between Two Fingers, And Throw It Down Hard While Spinning It. This Will Cause Most Of The Pogs To Flip! If You're Playing For Keeps, Jackpot!

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Tired Of Paying The Outrageous 3$ For A Pop At The Movies? Wear Cargo Pants And Sneak Snacks In That Way

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Use A Safety Pin To Securely Attach The Ty Tag To Your Beanie Baby And Ensure It Won't Lose Value

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Don't Want People To Read Your Diary? Simply Hide It Inside An Empty Sliding Doors Vhs Case

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Fool Friends Into Thinking You're Wearing A Global Hypercolour Shirt By Dipping Your Hands In Bleach And Touching Your Clothes

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