"My stuff is circled. The other stuff is my sisters."
"Let the wife cut my hair. I knew something was wrong when she start laughing hysterically."
"My girlfriend wanted a plant and I didn’t want a plant. So we compromised and got like 50 plants"
"My wife let our 8-year-old choose his own shower curtain today"
"My wife left me instructions for dinner. She thinks she married a moron"
"The way my sister leaves the PC table after playing roblox"
"My girlfriend and I have an ongoing argument about which direction the toilet paper roll should face. Today I've decided to assert my dominance with a padlock."
"Was so excited for dinner tonight, turned out the wife made all of this from cake and candy."
"My mom is planning to change the colors of our rice frequently na because she’s that bored"
"I was having fun with this letter board to countdown to my wife's last day of school. Also turned out to be the last day before she left me."
"My girlfriend puts empty egg shells back in the carton."
"Little sister left cheese on our R2D2 Xbox 360"
"Last month my wife stepped on my Controller, breaking it... Today I woke up to this."
"I made a cake for my little brother’s 18th bday and my 6yr old sister scraped all the tops off with her finger and ate it."
"My wife said measure the door, I told her all doors are the same size..."
"My wife always opens the microwave before it ends and leaves it like this, so I always have to cancel before setting my heating time."
"My girlfriend opens new water bottles without finishing the others first. Send help, please."
"My wife never fully screws the lids back onto anything..."
"I hate Instagram, let me eat."
"How my girlfriend takes the first piece of freshly baked brownies."
"I love my girlfriend. She tries really hard to cook us nice meals. Today she f@#king burned water."
"My wife asked me to put away my hair trimmer ..."
"My gf leaves me this fun game to play after she leaves for work in the morning."
"My girlfriend says she doesn't take up that much room in bed. I walked into the room last night and she was sleeping like this"
"She just wanted to try them..."
"I asked my girlfriend if she ate all the Oreos I bought 3 days ago. She said "no"."
"This is how my wife stacks our pans. Who does this?"
"Fellas, I just spent 2 whole hours arguing and searching the dustbin to prove to my girl that this missing piece is not from a condom."
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Pretty sure it's a bright lamp. Doesn't look like natural light
#7 It is oriented correctly, but if it was the other way around I'd simply unroll it and roll it back up the right way.
#15 You're never gonna see the end of this.
#17 Pour them together into one, and/or remove the unopened ones.
#23 Grab it by the cable and dunk it in the bowl. That should cool it right down. Or just don't flush.
U suck too
How would you know? You are a left handed sex offender that likes cricket. Weird right if someone tells you what you are and what you like without knowing you
couldn't have said it better