"My washing machine requires a meal of one sock every fortnight or so. I used to save the odd socks in a drawer waiting for the day they would be discovered at the bottom of the laundry bin or under a bed. Now I know better. "
–u/squ1bs
"Angela Landsbury was a genius serial killer in the TV show “Murder She Wrote”.
She moves to a small town and suddenly there is a murder every week, which she happens to solve. I say she was killing the people and with her high IQ was able to frame other people for each murder. The b#tch."
–u/Emperor_Norton
"At some point when digital cable became a thing, there was a meeting with the networks where they said, “Make it difficult to change channels. Make it so that you have to go through the guide and when you do tune in a channel it takes like three seconds to load. Not enough to annoy people, but enough to make it not worth it to flip over during commercials.” "
–u/pjabrony
"My cat understands the gist of what I say to him.
He studies me intently with his intelligent-looking deep green eyes, and “MROW’s” at strategic points, as if to indicate “understood.” "
–u/Back2Bach
"That I saw a UFO while camping in Utah. I watched an object descend from probably cloud level to maybe 300 feet over my head and hover for a few minutes before rising back up to cloud level and disappearing. I was maybe 10 so when I told my parents and the family friends we were camping with they chalked it up to an overactive imagination, but I know what I saw. "
–u/Booty_Gobbler69
"Wallis Simpson encouraged Edwards abdication, and it backfired on her. I believe that she wanted him to threaten abdication, unless he could marry her. She figured that either the marriage would be allowed without abdication, or that he would give up the crown and the British people would be so unsatisfied with George, they would demand Edward’s restoration no matter who his wife was. Either way, once he gave his throne up for love of her, she had to marry him, crown or no.
I also believe that she was conspiring with the German government, in order to set Edward back up as king of a vassal or puppet state to Germany. "
–u/Astraea1342
"Someone is sleeping on my roof at night. I always just think it’s a cat but it’s probably a person. "
–u/Ifyouknowyouknowit
"I’m going to try a tragic death. I can’t explain it but I’ve had the feeling ever since I was little. I do tarot so a few months ago I did a reading on if I’d live a long life and my last card was the tower card (every tarot readers worst nightmare when doing a reading lmao) and it basically means that there’s going to be a catastrophe or accident. "
–u/oimgaaaay
"There was a much advanced civilisation before us, that even had space travel and tele communications.. they lived in a perfectly balanced relationship with nature. "
–u/bezoaramini
"That the universe repeats itself every time it ends. That’s where deja vus come from, for a moment you remember your past life, and then move on with your day. "
–u/AlastorSalazar
"That I would’ve made a half decent knight. "
–u/CamperKuzey
"That conscious life on an inhabitable planet doesn’t just happen randomly for no reason.
The simplest (and Occam’s razor therefore says most likely) universe to happen by random chance would probably be no universe at all. The next most simple would be spacetime without any matter in it, just a big empty nothingness. After that, maybe a uniform spread of hydrogen atoms, one atom every few billion miles and that’s it. If we’re talking a totally nuts, really interesting universe, maybe hydrogen, helium, and lithium atoms with some photons and sometimes they run into each other- and honestly, that still seems pretty unlikely to just randomly happen compared to nothingness."
Continued…
"So…come on man! I’m supposed to believe that matter popped into existence, inflated into a space growing faster than the speed of light, clumped together into stars and exploded in supernovae multiple times over to create a bunch of types of matter that have all come together to create me, a piece of matter that knows it exists and is connected to every other piece of massive matter in the whole universe through the force of gravity (and probably other forces as well), and that all just….kinda happened…..randomly…..by chance?
Sorry, no. It’s not random chance, that’s just a cop out because it’s something too amazing for our tiny human brains to comprehend, so we say it’s random chance instead of admitting that something amazing and purposeful is going on, but it’s beyond our comprehension. "
–u/persontringtobegood
"I don’t think there’s really an illuminati or group of lizards controlling things, but God damn some events make more sense as a grand conspiracy.
I mean Covid comes along right when America is at its most divided and vulnerable? Yeah, could be coincidence, but holy crap did a lot of bad things line up “just right” for it. "
–u/writeorelse
"There are gigantic monsters living in the deepest parts of the oceans. "
–u/whoami13072003
"My phone automatically edits the messages I send so they’ll have grammatical errors in them. "
–u/horse_stick
"Some dreams are real. you’re not actually asleep. you’ve gone to another place.
i’ve thought about this a lot and have so much to say "
–u/johns_tea
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The liberal media and Hollywood says he's an idiot so he's an idiot? Turn off the TV and get your news from YouTube and wake up.
Plus, it might be strange for some of you, but America is not the center of the world. The pandemic is world wide and America is just a part of it. You only got hit so hard because you have a nationalist government and this equals stupidity and denial of scientific evidence, just like Brazil and Great Britain e. g.